What men don’t tell you, but what they secretly love
Most men like beer, football, and sex. Of course, you already knew that. But did you know that there are many more things that men like? (… Yes really;)
And now try to imagine what it would be like if you had this knowledge.
Consider the possibilities that that creates for you … Do you see it?
And before you think:
“ This sounds too good to be true. ”
YES. You are absolutely right. That indeed sounds too good to be true. But make no mistake. Today is your lucky day. Here you will discover 17 secret things that men secretly love.
Oh yeah … I secretly assumed that you want to apply these things immediately. So see it as tips. When you apply these things, he will get mad at you. As you know what they say: ” who gives, gets. ”
1. A woman who ” needs ” him
One of the things women ask me about 8 times a day is:
“ Do men like independent women? ”
In short: yes and no.
We men want a woman who can take care of her. But at the same time, we want to feel that you need us.
I understand that that can be confusing. That’s it;).
What you need to understand is that men want to protect you genetically. We want you to feel safe when you are with us. If a man feels that you don’t need him, he feels worthless.
Simply because his need remains unfulfilled.
“ Something is missing. It feels empty ”
emptying it may surprise you if I say that there have been a lot of men who have ended their relationship because of this.
How do I know that?
These men often come to me for a coaching week after their break-up. Anyway. Even though you are an independent woman, it is very much the case that men want to help and protect you.
That’s why I often give women the following advice:
Ask him for advice
Take his jacket when he offers it
Ask him for help if the attic lamp fails
Let him help you carry that heavy shopping bag
No matter how stupid this may seem. Men like to help you with these little things. This makes it feel like you need it. And that is important.
2. A seductive voice
the seductive voice there is something where his neck hairs stand up straight from good tension, then it is the seductive voice of a woman.
Well, you can’t just … 1 … 2 … 3 … change your voice.
You can NOT change your voice.
But the way you use your voice.
Men, for example, find a low voice more attractive than a high voice.
Then try to talk to him in a low voice. For example when you call each other. But hey. Don’t be surprised if he suddenly starts flirting with you over the phone;).
3. Caring women
caring“ What makes a good relationship so good?”
“What do people attach great value to in a relationship? ”
” Are there a number of things that make a marriage last longer? ”
Just some questions where four researchers, in November 2013, the investigation into doing.
The research showed that small caring things are incredibly important. For women, it is an advantage. For men, it is a must. We men just love caring for women.
I am no exception to this. When I get a cup of freshly brewed coffee in the morning, it is as if my inner child is making a leap of happiness. And that while I’m not the happiest mom in the morning (so to speak). In fact, at that moment there is almost nothing that I appreciate more. Literally. If I could choose between a hundred-euro bill and that freshly brewed cup of coffee, then that money could be stolen from me.
But enough about me …
The bottom line is that care is important. Men are biologically built to look for a ” good mother ” from an early age. This happens unknowingly. Many men don’t even know they are doing this.
Even when we are only 18, we are working on this (on an unconscious level).
We are attracted to caring women
I like, Well I hear you thinking:
” But … Tim … this means that I can make clever use of this. ”
Exactly, my beautiful reader, that is possible.
How? Well so:
Dress his clothes
Ask him about how his day went
Get him a cup of coffee (in the morning)
Send him a message to ask how his sick grandmother is doing
These kinds of small things will make a huge impact in the long run. It is no coincidence that men here – even though we do not always show that well – love it sensationally.
4. A positive attitude
The positive approach A big difference between men and women is the following:
Men want to feel few emotions
Women want to feel (very) many emotions
That’s why many women love soap operas. While (most) men find that terrible. We men don’t like drama. We prefer to be old and happy. Literally.
That explains why women with a positive attitude do much better in the dating market than negative women.
These women ensure that they can grow old and happy. In contrast to the negative women who turn every mosquito into an elephant. And whining him for anything and everything at his head.
Well, this may seem obvious.
It does that too.
But that does not mean that men do not like positive women.
tensionIt’s very simple….
Does a man not feel respected in a relationship? Then he doesn’t feel loved.
Does he feel respected? Then, of course, he feels loved.
It does not require Einstein to conclude that a man wants to feel respected.
Or well … actually … must feel.
It is a need and at the same time something men love.
You don’t make respected by saying ” I respect you ” to him. But by showing it to him. The following applies to men:
“ Actions speak louder than words. ”
6. The cat and mouse game
Tom and Jerry Maybe you know it even earlier. Or maybe you have no idea what I’m talking about.
The cat is hunting the mouse. But because the mouse is fast and small, and the cat large and clumsy, the mouse often manages to escape the cat’s deadly claws.
As you probably know, men love games.
But we hate when a game is too easy, that’s boring after all.
Exactly the same applies in the world of relationships. We love to hunt. But if we get hold of our “prey” (the mouse) too easily. Then it will soon be boring.
But if our ” prey ” manages to escape at the last minute, it remains interesting enough.
Men love it when they think they’ve won you over. And you then take a (small) step back. And she shows that that is not the case. So it’s just like the cat and mouse game. Where he is the cat. Which you (the mouse) ” address ” trying to get.
7. A well-groomed appearance
look-good-on-your-dateI keep saying it again and again. And still, I get dozens of messages about this every week. For example, this week I received a message from Mirjam (not her real name).
“ Hi, Tim,
What a great site, really super! I’m alone with a problem. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up two weeks ago and I intend to date again. In your articles, I often read that men think appearance is important. I am a bit worried about this. It’s not that I’m ugly, but I’m not my mother’s prettiest either. Well, I wonder to what extent appearance plays a role?
Greetings Mirjam “
Well Mirjam, that is a very good question that you are asking (and I think you will like the answer).
First of all, I want to say that I think it’s great that you are planning to date again so soon. That is, of course, better than sitting on the couch with a bowl of vanilla ice cream and Netflix. To try to process your heartbreak.
To answer your question:
” Yes, appearance matters ”
it matters but it probably plays a smaller role than you think. Many women think that they should look like a supermodel if they want to be liked by men.
And you know what’s funny?
Many men do not like these types of women.
What do those men like?
Well, look. That is pure to his taste. In fact, there is a kind of mini-men market for every type of woman: a group of men who fall for women like you.
But to attract that group you have to look your best.
” We love women who look good and cared for ”
ideaImagine you are slightly tinted, tall in size and you have red hair.
If you look good and cared for. Then there is a group of men who look around when you walk past them on the street. It’s that simple. But if you look unkempt, that’s a different story.
The tricky thing is that some people can’t believe me when I say this.
I understand why. Just saying. If we have to believe the movies/magazines/ billboards (etc.). Then it is indeed only the Doutzen-Kroes-like women who get the attention.
But believe it or not, that is a distortion of reality.
Because as I said, there is a group of men for every type of woman. So make sure you look good. So that you attract those men to you.
This ensures that you are much more interesting for the type of man who is attracted to you (read: they can no longer be beaten away).
8. Expose the correct amount
exposed my time as a dating coach I came across a lot of weird investigations. This is also the case for a study that was conducted at the University of Leeds. This resulted in an interesting fact.
It appears to be the case that a correct amount has been exposed.
That amount is 40%.
But of course you are now wondering:
“ Uh … Tim … what the hell are you talking about? ”
I’m talking about the percentage of your body that is covered by clothing. And the percentage … you guessed it … that is exposed.
There appears to be a whole ” science ” behind this.
If you hide in a pair of snow boots, ski pants and three layers of clothing with a coat over there. Then suddenly you are unattractive. Or at least … not as attractive as you would be if exposed with the right amount.
Slippers, a mini skirt and top were also not a good idea according to the researchers.
“ Far too sawn off. ”
40% of exposure is the best. That is what men love the most. In the image here, top left, you can see what that looks like in practice.
9. Women dressed in red
RED“ Another tip about appearance. ”
Jup. If you know me even a little, then you know that I only give practical advice that works in practice / scientifically proven. And men are visual creatures. So appearance plays a major role.
At this tip, we are going to talk about red clothing.
Research has shown that men find women more attractive when they wear red.
(read: we love women who wear red)
That does not mean that we will find you unattractive if you do not wear red. See it as a bonus. So if red is your color, make smart use of it.
10. Experimenting in bed
Often women ask me:
“ What do men like in bed? ”
A quick look through the bend: a lot.
Men are biologically programmed to look for as much variation as possible. Until not so long ago, men felt the urge to dive into bed with every woman they could use.
These days it is slightly different.
The majority of the population chooses to be monogamous, including men.
So a lot has changed in the way we view relationships. But there are some things that haven’t changed …
Men still have an ” urge for variation ”
variation He finds everything that is new for a man exciting.
And that tension is something he can’t get enough of.
So he will always be in for new things.
Whether it’s you…
Have sex outside the door
Try out a new position
In uniform and diving into bed
It is this kind of thing that makes a man’s head go wild. And not to forget. Keeping your sex life fun and exciting. In short, an experiment in bed.
support No matter how cliché it may be, the majority of men want to be able to take care of you …
… But even the strongest men need a shoulder now and then. A shoulder to cry on when something bad has happened. A shoulder where he can tell his story because he has to say something. A shoulder around … well … you understand my point.
Even though we will never admit this, but …
“ We love it when we know that you are there for us. ”
Your support means the world to us.
So make sure that you offer support to him.
low self-esteem you’ve heard me say it a thousand and one times …
(both here and in my other articles and videos)
… Men like a well-groomed appearance. But contrary to what many women think, that is not the only thing. We also love women with a nice appearance.
You know, women that shine with happiness.
Well, that sounds a bit too floaty …
What I mean are women with a healthy dose of confidence. The type of woman who is not afraid to look at a passing man, and when he looks back, laughs kindly.
When we see a woman with confidence, we think:
“ That must be a nice and interesting woman. Can not do otherwise. ”
self-confidence with men” Why else would she be so confident, ” he concludes.
And that makes sense in itself. You must be a very good actress if you want to look confident in any situation.
But before you start looking for acting lessons on Google, why not create an (even) more fun and interesting life for yourself?
This gives you more self-confidence and pleasure in your life.
It is a win-win.
Spend time on your hobbies and passions
Practice a sport and study nutrition (hint: healthy)
So go to seminars and read interesting books so that you have enough to talk about
In short, make sure you have a healthy dose of confidence and notice the increase in attention that you get as a result.
13. A woman who laughs at his jokes
He has turned into a hug monsterIt’s pretty funny how every man thinks he’s the funniest man on earth.
At least …
That’s what some women think. In reality, they are completely wrong. After all, almost every man is insecure about his sense of humor.
But ” man ” as he is, he naturally does not show this to the outside world.
Because imagine that someone would know about his uncertainties. Then all those hours in the gym would have been for nothing. Then that tough appearance suddenly is not that tough anymore.
So we pretend.
We act as if we don’t care if you don’t smile.
Or worse, say to him in a sarcastic way:
funny“ Haha, how incredibly funny you are. ”
This hurts him. A lot of pain.
This even goes so far that we avoid this type of woman as much as possible.
We want you to find us funny, and thereby remove our uncertainty.
That’s what we love: a woman who laughs at our jokes.
14. Women with an opinion
Have no opinionMen are not normally demanding, but when we talk about women with or without opinion, that is a different story.
We fall for women without opinions
And… we also give up on women with a too strong opinion
Forgive me for saying this. But there is always one person who has to bring the truth to the table. And in this case, that’s me. It is like this:
“We find women without opinions boring, and women with too strong opinions we find irritating.”
We “just” love women who have an opinion.
What I mean by that is that you don’t constantly interrupt him. And that you do not start a discussion everywhere if you do not agree with him. Do this and you have just gained another point.
15. Flirty gestures
to flirtThat men love flirting is not exactly shocking world news.
But did you know why that is?
Particularly what men love are the flirty gestures.
This is something we can’t get enough of …
The lovely smile
Playful eye contact
How you are playing with your hair
The fashioning of your clothes while we stand in front of you
The pen that you put between your lips when you are thinking
… And so on.
If you already do things like this then I can already tell you that there are a lot of men’s hearts that make you beat faster. And if you do none of these things. Then start today.
16. Appreciation for his performance
impressive As you may know: Men are competitive. Our brain, infused with testosterone, ensures that we want to be the best. Everywhere. Always.
We want to excel.
That that does not always succeed is another story. But at least we want to have tried it. The bitter aftertaste of the ” what if ” monologue is a bit too much for us.
Does this mean that we often go wrong?
Count on YES.
That is exactly what makes us uncertain. Because look. We used to have a mother (and/or father) who expressed appreciation. But now we are no longer mother’s children. We are mature men.
And that is where many women are mistaken.
Because underneath our appearance lies a small and uncertain creature. Even though he looks like he can bench press 3 goats, 2 sheep and a chicken in a golf cart.
Under that tough ” armor ” he is uncertain
uncertaintyThat is why we appreciate it like no other when a woman says something positive about our performance. It is like coming home after a romantic date. He pours two glasses of wine. You put on your favorite swoon music. Then you walk close to each other. You stand against each other. You feel his body heat. He takes your left hand. And you caress his chest with your right hand. Only now it is not his chest that caresses you. But his ego.
… and that is a sensitive place for men.
Men like it when a woman makes us feel good about ourselves.
And that is exactly what you do when you compliment him on his performance.
Say for example:
“ Gosh, I always think it’s so good that you can work so hard. ”
The best thing is to do this while looking at him with admiration. And even though he feels a bit light about it. You bet that this compliment will hit you like a bomb. That bomb destroys its uncertainty. Which immediately makes him feel good. And because you are the one who took care of it, he links that good feeling to you. In one fell swoop, he likes you even more.
17. Women who listen
why-listen-men-notYou must have noticed that men are not such talkers.
But make no mistake.
The fact that men use 3 times fewer words than women does not mean that we do not like having someone who really listens to us.
And unfortunately, people are. They really listen. Hard to find.
But if you make sure you listen to him carefully. Actively asks questions. And occasionally let him know that you are listening by briefly summarizing his say in your own words. Then you have an edge on the rest of the female population.
Men like this.
Okay … I mean of course … sigh … that we too love it;).
Is that all?
Above you will find 17 things that men like, but I still have one thing in mind.