I don’t just want to be cool, I want to live a little.

This sentence does not come from me, but from an acquaintance. We wrote an update on our lives the other day. She is now also a mother and has swapped her Instagram-ready freelancer jobs for a solid job.

She’s happy about it, as she wrote, “I don’t just want to be cool, I want to live a little.” And I thought, man, that’s what I want! Don’t get me wrong: I love my writing and appreciate all my privileges as an influencer. But I imagine doing something completely different.

In a recent article I wrote about the shortage of skilled workers in Germany and what it means for the economy. I find programming interesting, but I would also work at COS. Recently I met the woman responsible for the staff in Germany and liked her mega. Does it matter what we are given – or is it the colleagues who decide whether we like our work or not? Working at the Interior Ministry often feels lonely and boring. Others dream of sitting at the computer in their pajamas until 3 p.m.

Maybe at some point I’ll be a German teacher in Brandenburg at 50. I’ve even applied to the school board before, but I’ve never heard anything. My application was probably oldschool, because nowadays you send video instead of crooked copies.

Apart from my diplomas: what am I proud of, what do I want to tell myself, how can I convince someone of me and my abilities, and what are they really? It’s hard to answer these questions yourself, but it helps to replace your own goals and desires in between. Almost an update to yourself, which shows: Where do I take myself?

At almost 42, I know what I don’t want anymore and I’m 100% d’accord with my knowledge: doing a supposedly cool job at the expense of the quality of my and my family of life. This guiding principle of Lea-Sophie Cramer (ex-CEO of Armorelie) is particularly well behaved in this context: Soft decision = hard life. Hard decision = soft life.

For me, this means that important decisions are not postponed, but must be continued consistently. When you care about difficult decisions for the benefit of others, your own life becomes exhausting.

The dress in the photo is on loan from Frisch.